i'm a beaut

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." 
-C. S. Lewis 

   About six weeks ago for one of my drawing classes I had to write a 1500 word essay about beauty. Fun right? Duh. Well, first we watched this video of this British guy, Roger Scruton, ranting about how current art has turned "ugly" and "corrupted" due to the loss of appreciation of beauty in society. Things aren't created anymore just for the sake of beauty or loveliness- they have to have a use, benefit the viewer in some way, or make a loud, offensive "statement". He showed us examples of things like a urinal on display in a gallery or a pile of trash called "art". Or those modern paintings with a singular dot in the middle of a canvas that make you turn your head like a golden retriever puppy. You know, strange wacky things we art people pretend to find understanding in. 

"If something was to be created just for the sake of being beautiful and admired, there was simply enough of a reason for it’s utter existence, no questions. But there is a current battle against beauty, for the 20^th century call to “usefulness” has created a barrier to pure-motived creativity. Viewers are now consumers, looking around them asking, 'what can I get out of this?' and ignoring whatever they cannot personally get use out of."

   ^ An excerpt from my essay. I know you're absolutely dying to read the other eight pages, but I'm just going to tease you with that tidbit. Anyway, Reader, I bet you're asking yourself (self) "why is this girl talking about her weird art school homework and how does this apply to anything?" Well, inquisitive reader, typing this painfully thick essay actually made me think. I know, THINK. Wut. It make me think thoughts about the word "beauty" and why I do art. Honestly, I really just like to draw cute things that make people smile. I hate writing "artist statements" and I don't particularly enjoy having to throughly explain why I draw things. So there's that. 

   And then I thought about God. Yes, we knew that this post would classically take this turn. The Ultimate Artist. The Creator. The Potter forming His clay. We are His creation. And He calls us beautiful. Any why are we beautiful? Because we can offer Him anything or benefit Him in any way? Because He needs us? No. You guys, no matter how important we think we are, we are not vital to this world. We were created to simply be a delight and delight in the Father. He loves us for the sake that we are His, and we don't do anything or give anything to earn that. When I create a piece of art work on my own time, I put effort and thought into what I am creating. I am passionate about what I'm conducting, and after completing it I appreciate it. It can't give me anything, it can't serve me in any way. I just hang it up and give it value because it was created from my hands and I cherish it.

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."

1 Peter 2:9

   We are here to be cherished by the marvelous Creator and bring Him glory. Back to the dumb essay. The guy in the video made some interesting points that without frivolous things like beauty and loveliness, the quality of life is dead. What increases the quality of life?  Many people would say their goals in life are to get married, be successful in their career, have kids, have a balanced life... All wonderful things, of course. But if you merely check things off your life-list, true satisfaction never really seems to come. Many thoughts including terms like "purpose" and "happiness" float around in my mind. Many people do live with the intent to discover personal happiness, or an aspect of achieving goals and dreams. There have for sure been days like this. Days where I intend to get list of things done, or wake up and absent-mindedly ask myself "how can I best entertain myself today?". At a school where I'm told that my own artistic expression is the most important thing I have, it's so easy to mull through my days, just absorbed in how I can further this success. 

   But then I remember the life Christ wants for me. I remember Love and what living with that looks like. It's not throwing daily responsibility out the window. Do I want to be excellent in my work and do my best? Definitely. But I won't labor out of a fear of failure. I will work because God gave me a desire to create and the ability to do so, and I will simply use that in all I do. With this eternal perspective, a failure seems minute. And it's freeing to give these tasks to the Father who can do as He may with them, and always knows the best way to do them. So the pressure ain't on my limited human abilities, twitches. It's by His strength I get to do everything. PTL, as the kiddos say.  

   So the C.S. Lewis quote we began with. Friendship. Relationships. So the quote made me think of this little post I'm currently typing. Like beauty, friendship can be seen as a delicacy, something not usually a priority by those who wish to "succeed". But a life without loving others is a dead one. We were created to be relational. And there's a different between establishing a large social base and walking through life with others. We make friends with either intentions to receive love or give it fully. And if I'm socially floating around, silently screaming to be accepted and better-dealing some over others to feel the best about myself, I will grow numb to deep friendship- that is NOT how the relational kingdom is supposed to work. Listening and being there and loving (and sometimes not receiving love in return)- that's the cup of tea we're looking for. If I'm the biggest, baddest, most glitzy-glam children's book illustrator in the U.S.A. (ha), but I leave my SCAD experience without having grown in an ounce of fellowship, that would honestly be time wasted. Absorb that for a sec. That kind of takes the stress away, honestly. I'm still going to work hard, but if I'm not the #1 or the most appreciated, that is okay because the most important thing in my life is to love God and love people. And when I'm on my dorm floor scribbling lines at 2 AM for a project due the next morning, it's honestly going to be okay. Because the perspective I get to live with is an eternal one, this is a mist of a life. And PRAISE GOD that my mist isn't supposed to be about me and my success. Pressure off. Poof.